You make my palms sweat, and you make my lips quiver every time I try to say something to you. Looking at you is like looking through a flip book. I don't really know, or understand what our story is, but all I can remember are the little moments caught in pictures on pages. Every time I look at you, it's a different picture. The picture's perfect, but all I can do is sit here and listen to boy bands sing about how special she is.

Whoa. So freaking emo now.

When you're in the car waiting for the red light to turn green while feeling guilty for buying McDonald's back home at three in the morning, and suddenly ... Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You" starts playing on the radio.

The moment ... that fleeting 3.5 minute moment ... was LEGENDARY.

I am a walking cliche. New year, old feelings. Same shit, different day.

Forgotten forgiven

I'm no hero, I'm just a man aching for your hands

So if you say our love is gone

Then I guess I'm moving on

Here's my lousy excuse for moving on

Gabe Bondoc marry me <3

The most dreaded time of the year has come - the end of the year. Calls for self-reflection and lots of disappointment. You know they always say something about how something or someone can trigger something called Lifechange. Sarah Soh told us (more than) once, "A LEVELS IS LIFECHANGE." I suppose it really was. Nightmares after nightmares (literally, I think I'm a very dark sleeper) convinced myself that I've failed to meet expectations, that I've made the wrong choices, that I'm being reprimanded for the choices I've made. It's like a giant anchor chained to my weak ankle and I don't think I've made any "progress" since. It's the same reason why now I can choose to stay in bed for 3 days straight, pressed beneath my Cumulonimbus, waiting for God knows what, the world to change. I hear they say you're wrong until proven right. Miserable. Misery. Miserable. Makes me feel more miserable than comfortable that God tells us that we've got nothing to prove to Man. Without my grades, I would be worth nothing. In the eyes of my country, and in the eyes of my parents. Success is very narrowly defined in the family. No exceptions. I think my grades were more my parents' answered prayer than mine. So much for everyday is Thanksgiving.

"All your cousins made it to University."

"If you fail your A levels, you are finished."

".... other options."

"If you don't study you'll end up in SIM."

"Why can't you be more like your brother?!"

My mother would be very sad to read this. I hate this post. Too much baggage.